


Tweek the Gnome

by Foxkisa, VibratingBlondeChild



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, College, Laundry, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxkisa/pseuds/Foxkisa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibratingBlondeChild/pseuds/VibratingBlondeChild
Summary: The gnomes come back once again to bother Tweek!
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 29
Kudos: 51
Collections: jan 2021 - sp creek server does gnomes





	Tweek the Gnome

**Author's Note:**

> Foxkisa: VibratingBlondeChild, Feckin_Weeboos, tlinrookie, Tweekscoffeebean thank all of you for gnome names. thank you VibratingBlondeChild for being so patient with me. Thank you xenolith1245 and VibratingBlondeChild for betaing. 
> 
> VibratingBlondeChild: Hey guys! I'm so excited to finally work with Foxkisa! She has written such an awesome story, and I know it has been a longtime project with more to come. I hope you guys enjoy our work as much as we have! Everyone, show Foxkisa lots of love <3

Craig and Tweek sit in Tweek’s room on his bed. They play Phone Destroyer on their phones after the day's classes. Tweek glares frustratedly at his game. He’s been trying to get past a certain level in Cartman’s fantasy deck on campaign for some time now. Everytime he tries though it seems his cards are just not upgraded enough yet. Craig has been giving him pointers and tips as to how he had gotten past the level but it's just not enough. Tweek is determined to get past this level, so he tries once more before deciding to go pvp instead.

Craig had been staring at Tweek's laundry basket for the last ten minutes. He glared at how the contents of the clothes basket overflowed onto the floor. He’s so distracted by it that he hasn't really paid any attention to his game and kept losing in pvp mode. Craig set aside his phone and leaned back into the wall, sighing and running a hand through his hair.

"Tweek, let me do your laundry. It always bugs me that you let it pile up until there's nothing clean left."

Tweek set his phone down too and gave Craig a questioning look. 

"What? Isn't that a little _ ngh _ weird, Craig?"

Craig glares once more at the laundry basket. 

"Just let me do it. Your room is always a mess. I'm trying to help you out."

Tweek looks away embarrassed. While having your best friend doing your laundry is embarrassing, it's worse when they are also the person you’ve had feelings for. Especially when you haven't told these feelings yet. 

"My mom usually does my laundry when she visits..." 

"Well you live away from your parents now. So let me do the laundry. You go clean up that lego mess I see before one of us steps on it.” 

Craig points to the lego house that Tweek had been building, a tub of legos laying beside it on its side with lego pieces pouring out from it. 

“How about later I'll just teach you how to do it? You’re going to need to learn how to do this eventually." 

Tweek debates with himself for a moment.

" _ GAH _ ! Fine! Just stay in the room with the clothes, man. The gnomes might try to take my underwear when we aren't looking!!"

Craig raises an eyebrow and points to Tweek’s dresser. 

"Is that why you have a lock on that drawer? I’ve always thought you were hiding kinky shit or a journal or something."

"WHAT?! NO!  _ Ngh _ !! The fuck, Craig?! I don't have any kinky things and my journals are over the- nevermind that." 

Tweek had accidentally pointed to the bookshelf he has of many years of journals hidden among his baking recipe books.

Craig is smiling as he stands and looks down at Tweek. 

"I'll be on the lookout for the gnomes. I'm surprised they even followed you here. Don’t worry. No one’s gonna steal your panties, Tweek."

Tweek is reminded of the time that Craig walked in on him wearing that particular pair. That was an extremely embarrassing situation. Craig had on a wide-eyed expression for a moment until he just suddenly rushed out, slammed the door closed, and apologized that he should never have burst in. 

" _ ACK _ ! That's like one pair! And I told you never to mention that again!!

Sometimes that pair just feels nice to wear."

"Alright, alright. I'll stop teasing you." Craig turns around to walk to the door, then mutters, "You should’ve bought some thigh highs with it though." 

Tweek wonders if he heard that correctly. 

"Huh?"

“Nothing.”

Craig leaves for the downstairs laundry room with Tweek's basket of clothes.

He gathers the laundry detergent, softener, and dryer sheets. He starts pulling clothes out of the laundry basket and sorting them into piles. 

  
  
  


Tweek starts picking up legos, coffee mugs, various art supplies, and model builds off the floor. He puts the half finished models on his desk and places the extra pieces into a cardboard box he has. Tweek places that box next to the models. He stashes away his art supplies in a different box. He puts his legos back into the tub they are falling out of and the lego building onto his desk with the models. Tweek picks up a coffee mug and stares at it for a moment. It’s an old mug Craig made for him in art class back in middle school. Craig is always making him little trinkets and knitting him scarves, gloves, or hats. He picked up knitting as a hobby after his grandmother died. 

Before that, when Craig’s third guinea pig died, his parents wouldn't allow him to get another pet. Soon after that, Craig started doting on Tweek like a mother hen. He started bringing Tweek extra lunches, making sure his shirt was buttoned, and just fussing over him in general. Tweek demanded he explain his new behavior a week later and Craig broke down crying. From then on, Tweek let Craig fuss over him however he wanted but demanded instead of doing everything for him, he teach or explain what he wanted Tweek to do. His parents never took the time to teach him anything anyway.

So when they discussed where they were going to go for college, they were able to find one that had classes for both of them. Craig convinced Tweek to join him in living in a place together. He was extremely excited at the chance to get away from his parents and have his own space. What better way to do that than to live with your best friend? They’ve got a whole house to themselves now with enough space for three and away from the stress of family. It has only been 3 months and everything has been far less stressful for Tweek. 

The two live in a house together near their college campus where they found the rent was cheap. The realtor said something about a rumored witch that used to live there and how she had cursed the place. So no one had wanted to buy or rent the house. Craig, being the skeptical person he is, thought this was really stupid. So he jumped at the chance to sign the lease on the place.

While Tweek is lost in thought about how he could find some way to repay his best friend, four gnomes were on their way into the room to steal some underwear. They sing their song while walking down the hallway toward Tweek’s room.

_ Time to go to work, Work all day, We need underpants hey! _

_ We won't stop until we have underpants! _

_ Yum tum yummy tum tay! _

_ Time to go to work, Work all night, Search for underpants yay! _

_ We won't stop until we have underpants! _

_ Yum tum yummy tum tay! _

They stop singing once they reach the door. The gnomes peak inside to see the blonde human they always try to avoid. They started advancing with slow steps and whispered.

"He'll never suspect us during the day." 

"Let's get this kid’s underwear and go! Last time he had a bat!" 

"Don't forget the time he threw his coffee at us!"

"We've got the powder this time. It'll be fine!" 

"Let me go first then! Move!" 

The four gnomes step closer to Tweek who hasn't seen them approaching yet. Tweek turns around to see them just as Gnome 4 pulls out the powder to shrink him. He throws this powder at Tweek. Tweek shrieks and starts slowly shrinking down to their size.

“ _ GAH _ ! What the fuck?! Oh Jesus! What's going on?! I’m getting smaller! What did you throw at me?! Some kind of poison?!” 

Tweek panics and tries to wipe the dust off himself.

"HA! Now you are helpless! You can't fight us this time, kid!" 

"I'll get the underwear! You three hold him back!"

Gnome 1 and Gnome 3 grab Tweek's arms while Gnome 4 stands in front of him.

“ _ NGH _ ! Grrr…. Get the fuck off of me! Oh Jesus! You want my blood this time! Well FUCK YOU!!” 

Tweek kicks Gnome 4 in the stomach and the gnomes flinch back. They weren't expecting him to be fighting back with them so quickly.

"Stop struggling, kid! We don't want your blood! We just want your underwear!" 

“Well you're not getting them!  _ GAH _ ! Besides they aren't even in here!” 

Tweek struggles to pull his arms away from the gnomes holding him. 

"Dammit he's right!" Gnome 2 is looking through the underwear drawer after somehow knowing exactly where Tweek had stashed his key for the lock. "There's none in here."

Tweek has wrestled away from the two holding him. 

“Why won't you guys just leave me alone!!! Turn me back to normal right now or I'll start throwing punches!”

"Just give us your underwear kid and we'll leave you alone... Until the next time we come back anyway."

"Yeah! Otherwise you'll stay a gnome like us!"

“NOOO!! UGH. URGH. FINE!! Only one pair.”

Tweek huffs and glares at them.

The four gnomes gather in a huddle and talk it over.

"Alright one pair this time. And we'll discuss MAYBE leaving you alone, IF ...you become a business partner!" 

Tweek is baffled at this. He looks at them with a perplexed expression on his face and wonders why they would want to be friendly with him after all these years.

“Huh? WHY?!”

"Because, kid, your parents have a business so why wouldn't you know something in business? If they can sell their shit coffee then you can help us figure out step 2."

“But I don't know anything about selling underwear! I just ran the register! And made coffee!”

Tweek wrings his shirt in his hands to keep himself from pulling his hair. He normally would grab a stress ball, but he’s too small to reach it.

"What if we give you 40% profit?"

Tweek thinks this over for a few moments. All their money from their jobs goes to bills and barely groceries. They could get more food with that money if he was able to help these gnomes make some kind of profit.

“ _ Ngh _ . ah... ok. But no more stealing my underwear!”

"Deal kid." 

Tweek and Gnome 2 shake hands in agreement.

“By the way, why do you have a pair of panties in there?” 

“ _ GAH _ ! NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” 

Tweek yells embarrassed that they found the pair of panties.

"I thought you said there wasn't underwear in there?"

"Yeah but nevermind. No. We aren't taking those." 

"Take us to your underwear kid!"

Tweek huffs, “Craig is doing my laundry. So we gotta go downstairs.”

"Let's take the route through the wall."

Tweek and the gnomes head towards the door. As they walk, Tweek looks around at his bedroom. Being this tiny and small, the room looks giant and like an odd playground. He never did get to fully put away his mug. It sat there in the middle of the floor while the rest of the room appeared tidier. 

They enter into the hallway and turn right to go further into the upstairs hallway. One of the gnomes lags a bit behind with Tweek. The other three are a bit further ahead and whispering in hushed voices. The gnome who stays behind with Tweek is walking beside him now and decides to introduce herself to him. 

“We’ve never actually told you our names have we? All these years of stealing your underwear and we’ve never introduced ourselves. There are gnomes for almost every household in South Park. We’ve been living with you since you were little.”

Tweek watches her carefully. He still doesn't trust these gnomes, even if they're trying to be friendly.

“My name is Rookie!” 

Rookie points ahead to the other three gnomes. 

“And those three are Gunther there on the left, Gnorman in the middle, and Gilbert is on the right.”

Tweek looks at the three gnomes in front of them. They've stopped whispering and are now trying to steal glances at him. He returns his gaze back to the gnome who is walking beside him. She steals a few side glances at him a few times and then pulls out a notebook and writes down some notes. Tweek looks over at her notes and sees she is writing a description of him in detail. He can see the words button nose and light freckles across his face. The rest looks like chicken scratches. She closes her notebook and smiles at Tweek. 

"I just want an accurate description. I like to draw and write so I was going to write a story with you in it." 

Tweek is a bit flattered but also kind of creeped out. He gives her a forced smile and she turns away. They continue on walking in silence. 

They reach the hallway tunnel that’s next to the bathroom. They enter the tunnel and Tweek sees there’s a gnome-sized ladder leading down into the floor below. They take the ladder down and stop. The three gnomes in front of Tweek turn to him and start talking to him enthusiastically. There are too many voices at once and Tweek pulls at his shirt a bit and his eyes go wide. Thankfully it seems one gnome has noticed.

“Guys! One person at a time!”

“ _ Ngh _ ! Thanks Rookie.”

Gunther, Gilbert, and Gnorman give a look amongst each other and they raise their hands to play rock-paper-scissors to see who talks first. Gunther wins 2 out of 3. 

"I am so glad we jumped into your car when you left! Your parents are fucking insane, kid."

Tweek looks at them in surprise. 

“THAT'S how you followed me here?”

"Well, yeah! You think we'd just travel the whole way here by foot? That'd be exhausting." 

"Besides, you know how your parents are! They freak us out!"

"We’d rather just stick with you. We like you better. We can expect at this point if you’re gonna attack us or not. We didn't actually intend to make you scared of us." 

"Yeah. Why do you think we were coming at 3am? We were hoping you would be asleep, but of course you never are." 

“ _ Ngh _ ! Of course not with you guys always coming in!” 

Tweek throws his hands up and growls in frustration. He pushes past them and walks out the wall opening that leads into the kitchen. The gnomes follow him out. 

  
  
  
  


Meanwhile Craig is sorting Tweek's clothes. 

He sorts colors into one pile, blue jeans into a second pile, other pants into a third pile, and whites into a fourth pile . 

He starts paying attention to some of the sweat stains on the shirts. Craig becomes curious about the smell, so he brings a shirt up to his nose and breathes the smell in deeply.

'This is definitely dirty.' He thinks to himself. 

He notices that he immediately gets hard from sniffing Tweek's shirt. 

"What the fuck?" Craig mutters to himself.

He shivers and tries to ignore it. He continues on with his task of doing the laundry. 

  
  
  
  


They are about halfway across the kitchen floor, just past the table where they eat their food, when Gnorman catches up to him. 

"So when are you gonna say something to your friend kid?"

“What are you-” 

"We're not blind. We’ve seen the drawings and the journal notes." 

“GAH! Why are you looking through my books?!” 

Tweek does pull at his hair this time. Panic spreads across his face. 

“Besides, it's not like we haven't caught you rubbing one out, kid. You're pretty loud.” 

Tweek looks mortified at this. So the gnomes really have been spying on him. 

Gilbert decides it's time for a topic change before the poor kid faints or worse.

“Alright now here’s the recipe for the shrinking and growing powder.” 

Gilbert hands Tweek a piece of paper that has instructions on how to make the powder.

“Ngh! I'm not gonna need this. Why are you giving me this?” 

"Trust me, kid, you’ll need it." 

Tweek folds the paper and pockets it. He makes a mental note to stash this away in one of his recipe books.

Gunther starts listing off ways Tweek can use the powder as they start walking again to the next tunnel. 

"There’s all sorts of places you can hide away or get into. You wanna hide from other people? POOF!! You can now go under the bed or hide behind things. They'll never see you with you being that tiny."

“AH! But what if they step on me? What if I drop the bag? What if-” 

"Then use the powder on them if you think you're gonna be stepped on or something." 

“OH! Can I shrink food? Or make it larger? Like if I wanted more coffee or a pastry?” 

Tweek gets excited at the thought of that. He could bake pastries and make them last a week instead of them being completely eaten in a few minutes. Maybe he could shrink himself and some snacks and find a nice little spot to sit and admire things from a different perspective.

"I don’t actually know." 

They all look at each other puzzled.

"Maybe? Try it and see if it works. If it works it's sure to be a new use." 

They go through the wall tunnel from the kitchen to an opening down in the basement on the far side away from Craig. This tunnel has a winding staircase instead of a ladder this time. How did they even get this to work? Tweek is concerned that he and Craig hadn't noticed these holes in the wall before. Were these here before or did they make these recently? 

  
  
  
  


They reach the bottom of the staircase and as they approach closer they hear faint pants and moans. They all give each other looks of confusion. They walk about halfway toward the wall that separates half of the basement and stop. 

"Just set us a pair by the tree stump in your backyard. We will come back tomorrow and talk more." 

"We'll have it in writing if you want to, kid. No more taking your underwear." 

“Good luck dealing with THAT!”

Gnorman laughs knowingly and points toward where the noises are coming from.

"See you later! And don't forget you have those recipes! Please DO NOT share them." 

Gnorman and the other three gnomes hastily walk back toward the basement wall tunnel.

Tweek gives them a wave and turns toward the noises. He uses the powder to make himself bigger and grabs a baseball bat from nearby. Tweek slowly sneaks toward the weird sounds. He's certain it is Craig but Tweek's anxiety will always tell him it's a danger. 

He gets closer and closer, and the noise gets clearer. Tweek is not that naive. He knows what that sound probably is, but he has to know. He peeks around the cement wall separating the laundry area from the rest of the basement. He finds Craig facing the washer and dryer, and the washer is going with piles of clothes separated around him. That's all normal and that’s what he expected. What he didn't expect to find was Craig with a hand on his cock stroking himself. He is shoving a pair of Tweek’s underwear to his nose, sniffing and licking it. 

Tweek's hand not holding the baseball bat quickly flies to his mouth to keep himself from shouting out a shocked shriek. 

Craig is muttering a few things into the piece of clothing that Tweek can't quite identify, except when Craig loudly moans Tweek's name, his voice muffled into the article of clothing in his mouth.

Tweek blushes. He backs up and pulls out the gnome shrinking powder. He sets down the baseball bat just behind the wall and shrinks himself. He then creeps around the wall and across the floor to the pile of whites. There he sees Craig has yet to wash his underwear. It seems he's doing a load of blue jeans first. He grabs the first pair of underwear he can drag out from the pile and dashes away with that pair. Just as he is running past the edge of the wall again, Craig once again mutters unintelligibly and affectionately into what Tweek realizes is a pair of underwear he has in his mouth. 

At this point, Tweek is as red as a cherry, but he ignores it and continues on. He can talk to Craig about this later. He must get the gnomes at least one pair so they'll leave him alone. They have an agreement; a truce even! It's better to join them than fight them!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank all of you who read this fic and admired VibratingBlondeChild's art.


End file.
